by A promise is something to be done for sure. It is an act of trust.
I did this promise on March 28, 2001 – but I couldn’t do that on my wedding day. Maybe I said sorry- then life moved on. I forgot all about it- then found it again in 2025. So writing about ‘the core’ ‘inner man’ is my way of keeping that promise.
I thought about life when I was young and I felt people don’t think deep enough. I remember getting prizes for poetry, and art at school. I started journaling my thoughts when I was 17 and still continue it. I had hardships after my father passed away when I was 21, and through those experiences I became closer to God. I was not going to bend to the customs of arranged marriages. I despised dowry and customs which makes women like a commodity. No one can put a price tag on me since I am invaluable. I couldn’t think of living with someone I don’t know. I knew that if I live with someone, that would be someone who respect or accept who I am.
Finding that person- my soul mate- seemed so hard. I never found anyone and I was like what to do about it. Then my friend told me to pray about it and ask to God. So I listened to her, and wrote around two pages describing him!! But, the only physical characteristic I asked was- someone with height since I am very short. 🙂 And -I asked God the father to find him the way my father would have been doing, if he was alive.
I was not afraid to try new ways. In the good old days when they were starting the matrimonial site, I posted mine too. It was not so fruitful for the first few years, but once I got a response which made my heart beat stop for a moment. I thought ‘Is there really someone who thinks like me’ ? I was so happy, but I didn’t realize at first, that he was not from India. During the volunteering trip of Habitat for Humanity to build houses, an American guy fell in love with India and wanted a bride from there. For me, what is in your heart is most important, not your appearance. We connected quickly, and we exchanged our hearts through emails. I am very open and honest, and I can feel when others are not. Once I saw his heart (we have never met during this time), and decided he is my soulmate, nothing in the world could do anything against it. I proceeded with marriage plans, people were skeptical. They advised against it, and relatives told the guy may not even come. Long story short, we both got married in India(2002) and it was in newspapers too. During that time, an Indian woman from a village marrying an American was not so common. I came to the United States of America for the love of my life. The barriers of color, race, nationality…nothing stopped us to take the leap of faith. Most people doubted the commitment and longevity, but we are still married with two kids- after 23 years too! Whew!
I was able to do all this because of my faith in God. I didn’t have anyone to rely on, but God. So I tell people this about me:
“My life is my faith, and my faith is my life”!